I'm Here and I'm Yours
by kyle3marie
Summary: AU where you feel the pain of your soulmate.


Clarke was 5 years old when she felt someone pinch her on the arm. Clarke yelped and looked around her empty room. When her mom came rushing to comfort a scared, crying Clarke, she sat her down and told her what it meant. Clarke spent the next 7 years looking forward to the day she would meet her soulmate. She daydreamed about them those 7 years. Would it be a girl? Would her soulmate be a boy? Her nose used to wrinkle at that.

Then she turned 12 and everything started to change. She was browsing the library stacks looking for the new book the librarian told her about when she felt a stinging sensation for the first time. It was right under her eye and then she felt like her breath was knocked out of her. Her eyes widened in realization as she stood there, doubled over, trying to catch her breath. She cried herself to sleep that night, hoping that her soulmate was okay.

She spent that whole summer feeling as if she was being beaten up. Clarke felt helpless. She wished she could be there to comfort them. Or make them stop. The realization that maybe this was all her soulmates fault terrified Clarke. She knew they were either being bullied or they were starting fights, but judging by the way her knuckles sometimes ached first, warning Clarke of the impending pain, she assumed it was both. What the hell were they doing?

Over the next few years the pain lessened until it was just her knuckles aching. They were still starting fights, but at least they weren't getting hit back all that much. Clarke couldn't tell if she was grateful or angry.

When she was younger, she always dreamed of them. Of meeting them and falling instantly in love, but sometime in her midst of growing up she realized she wasn't going to just sit and wait for her soulmate to find her. She even had a high school fling with a girl named Lexa. She was torn up for weeks after it ended, even though she knew Lexa wasn't her soulmate. But then one day something horrible must have happened and it shook everything she knew.

Clarke was at Raven's house. Raven was Clarke's recently acquired best friend thanks to that asshole, Finn. Finn was her first boyfriend. He lulled her into a false sense of comfort by spouting all this anti-soulmate stuff. Looking back, Clarke doesn't even know if she believed any of it. He and Clarke had been dating for 5 months when Raven, Finn's beautiful girlfriend of a year, transferred to their school.

When Clarke realized he had used Clarke as the other woman, well, let's just say that this time, her soulmate was the one who felt the ache in their knuckles. Raven had forgiven Clarke immediately after realizing what was going on and they've been inseparable ever since. Raven always reasoned that she and Finn were just passing time until her real soulmate came so she didn't feel the need to hold a grudge against Clarke. And Clarke was the "other woman" so they moved on fast.

Raven was the one who brought Clarke out of her shell. Ever since Wells, Clarke's previous best friend had died when they were 14, she had been sullen and angry at the universe. Angry that Wells had died, but not her. Survivor's guilt, they said. It was a terrible accident and there was nothing to be done, she knew, but that didn't mean she couldn't be angry. That was the only period in her life where she missed the constant and terrible pain that had once plagued her. Raven had helped Clarke and ever since, Raven had held most of her love and been her best friend. Raven was, after all, by her side for every argument with her mother and every rebellious act Clarke felt she needed to do. Raven was usually the one to encourage her now that she thinks about it. Sometimes, when she looked at her a certain way or Raven touched her a certain way, she wished Raven was her soulmate, but Raven had her own soulmate. One who, apparently, was constantly breaking their toes and fingers.

She was listening to one of Raven's rants about her mate's most recent accident when ' _the incident'_ happened. Clarke was sitting on the couch mindlessly eating the bowl of popcorn in front of her when she let out a shriek that stopped Raven in her tracks, quite an accomplishment. Clarke vaguely heard Raven talking to her, but she was too busy clutching at her head. She felt her nose break, her ribs, her head felt like it was split open and her leg felt like it was on fire. She felt as if her hand was crushed. _What the actual fuck is actually happening to me?_

Her vision went blurry with the pain of being struck in the head again. Then the kicks to the stomach and sides came, hurting her already broken ribs. _Not yours._ _Theirs_.

Clarke soon passed out from the pain of it all. Raven was frantic, but there was nothing she could do but call Clarke's mother, Abby.

When Clarke woke up a few hours later, the first things she saw were Raven and Abby's faces staring down at her. After an hour of assuring them both that it wasn't her pain she was feeling, they stopped interrogating her so she could go back to sleep. Raven stayed with her of course and after Raven had fallen asleep, Clarke let out a shaky breath that she didn't know she'd been holding in. She was scared. Clarke knew something horrible had happened and she couldn't do anything about it. _That wasn't a normal fight. They've never been hurt that bad before._ The tears streamed down Clarke's face. Her soulmate could be dead and there was nothing she could do about it.

Clarke felt nothing for almost a year and a half.

* * *

Clarke had just said goodbye to her mother and was putting the finishing touches on her room when her roommate stumbled into her room with a box that was almost as big as she was. Clarke laughed and reached out to help her set it down. Her roommate smiled at her gratefully. "Hi!" she said energetically. "You must be Clarke! It's so nice to meet you!" The girl stuck her hand out towards Clarke, who accepted it with a chuckle. _She's gorgeous,_ Clarke thought, _this will be a good year_.

"Yeah, you must be Octavia." The girls smiled at each other.

"It's nice to finally put a face to the name." Octavia said.

They were interupted by Raven walking in loudly yelling about how she almost died when her roommate decided to get punched in the gut as she was carrying a box upstairs. Octavia and Clarke looked at each other and laughed.

"Octavia, this is Raven. Rav-"

Clarke was cut off by the feeling of something scratching her. Clarke's eyes widened and she looked down at her arm. No sign of any scratches of any kind. She looked up at Raven who was eyeing her suspiciously.

"They're alive! Raven, they're alive!" Clarke was jumping up and down crying. Blindly, she hugged the first person within reach who happened to be Octavia.

 _Poor girl looks so confused,_ Raven thought to herself. Then it clicked. Clarke's soulmate was still alive. After all this time of radio silence, her soulmate was still alive. That night they inducted Octavia into their little family with a celebration none of them would forget.

The next day, Octavia got home late, mumbling about stupid nurses needing to be more careful with their needles. Clarke glanced at her but paid no mind to what she actually said.

A few weeks later, Clarke was lying on Octavia's bed as Octavia was finally unpacking her last box. Clarke was daydreaming. About her soulmate of course. She wondered what they were doing and why they weren't getting hurt so much anymore. She wondered as to what they would look like, but it was hard not knowing whether it was a guy or a girl. Still, in the back of her mind and in all her dreams, they always had dark curls, but that was all she could make out and that didn't exactly narrow it down enough for her.

Octavia was setting a picture by her bed when she sniffled, causing Clarke to glance at her with a questioning gaze, but Octavia was too busy looking at the picture to notice.

"O?" Octavia looked up at her before returning to gaze at the picture.

"My brother." Octavia gazed at it sadly before walking over to show her. Clarke stared at the man in the picture. _He was beautiful_. Clarke looked at Octavia and then back to her brother, the resemblance was uncanny, but where Octavia was all soft lines and straight hair, her brother was dynamic lines with soft waves as hair. Not to mention the freckles that lightly dusted his face. Clarke's fingers itched to draw the pair side by side.

She felt the bed dip as Octavia sat beside her. Turning to look, Clarke saw that she was deep in thought and tears were threatening to spill. She hooked an arm around her.

Clarke had known something bad had happened to him, but whenever he had come up, Octavia had always gone silent or so sad that everyone jumped at the chance to change the subject. And since Clarke and Octavia weren't exactly best friends yet, Clarke never pushed the subject either. This time though, Clarke couldn't hold back.

"Talk to me." She gave an encouraging squeeze and waited.

"I guess it just hurts too much to talk about," O said as she glanced at Clarke, "He was hurt, badly, a few years ago." She sniffle before continuing. "No one knows what happened. He's in a coma, has been for over a year now. He's the only family I have left and it hurts to think that I might never see him again and-" The girl finally burst into tears.

That was when Raven came into the room. "I heard crying what's going on?"

Clarke looked at Raven and mouthed "her brother" and gestured Raven to sit on the bed.

"Why don't you tell us some good memories? Don't dwell on the bad things, O." While Clarke was talking Raven had walked back to her own room arriving minutes later with a bottle of tequila and two bottles of wine. Octavia looked at the bottles and gave a tentative smile.

She talked about how her brother had spent his life protecting her from her mom's boyfriends and starting fights with the kids at school. She talked about how he use to go to his room and hide afterwards so that she wouldn't see him cry, because he felt so guilty that he knew his soulmate was feeling the same thing, but he couldn't stop. She talked about how he used to make pancakes for her every Saturday and how he always gave the best piggy back rides. She talked about the way he used to scare all the guys at her school, because he was afraid they'd hurt her. She talked about what he went through to put her through school. He was the best big brother ever.

And Clarke still didn't piece it together.

* * *

After Octavia had exhausted herself of stories of her brother, they ended up spending the entire night telling all of their secrets to each other, drinking the night away. By the end of the night, Clarke felt like she knew Octavia and her brother as if she had grown up with them. It hurt that Octavia had had such a hard life growing up, but Clarke was glad the girl had her brother there for her _._

 _Bellamy_.

The name stirred something in Clarke, but her head hurt too much to think about anything so she put no thought towards it, instead opting to volunteer to be the one that got the girls aspirin and water. No one felt like moving so they ordered enough pizza to last the day and had a movie marathon.

That felt like the true beginning of their friendship. Soon, movie night happened every Saturday and eventually their little family grew.

Miller was the first to be invited. He was a friend of O's brother and he was practically her other older brother by default. He had taken Bellamy's place in her life when 'the incident' happened, immediately filling Bellamy's big brother shoes. Miller was quiet but immediately fit into the group, especially when Clarke brought her fellow pre-med classmate, Monty over the very next week.

It took only 2 weeks for Octavia and Clarke to walk in on one of their dates. (Another week would have seen Clarke win their friendly bet instead of Raven.)

One movie night, when the friends were hanging out waiting on Raven to get back with the pizzas, Raven burst into the room angrily, practically throwing the pizzas on to the table. "That bastard!" she shouted. All conversation stopped and all they could do was stare at her. Clarke hadn't ever seen her this angry before. Not even when the Finn thing happened. Raven was yelling and being extremely vulgar saying something about how this guy could shove something somewhere or another. Once they got her calmed enough to tell them what happened, Clarke was stunned. "Your soulmate?!" Clarke and Octavia gasped together.

It turns out Raven had met her soulmate when he dropped a toaster on his foot, and in turn she felt it too. After that she practically launched herself at him, yelling and cursing about how all she felt growing up was broken toes and fingers and how she hated that he even existed. Later, she told them that he had looked surprised when he realized his soulmate was so fiery.

"Was he hot at least?" Octavia asked. In return, Raven glared at her and demanded that they start the movie and leave her alone. Octavia and Clarke shared a chuckle, taking that as a yes, but knowing their friend would never admit it.

 _That boy has a lot coming to him,_ Clarke thought.

Clarke met Lincoln in her self-defense class. He was the TA and he was amazing. He was this huge guy that the class had to practice the moves on, but when he helped her after class on the tough moves she couldn't quite get, she realized that he was probably one of the sweetest guys she knew. He had also treated her to some very interesting conversations about his large and very unconventional family.

She decided pretty quickly that Octavia would love him. He even worked at this coffee shop O loved. She asked Octavia if she had seen him there, but she hadn't so Clarke enlisted the help of Raven to get them together. They decided to invite him, not to their movie night, but to a night out. The group desperately needed something to do and were all tired of being cooped up in school studying for finals, so they were going on a group picnic.

For weeks Clarke had been telling Lincoln about her amazing friends and she noticed that whenever she talked about Octavia, he instantly changed and became way more distracted. _O would definitely love him,_ she decided.

Thanks to the alcohol Raven had smuggled into the bag of food, even though she was told **multiple** times "no alcohol", the picnic went great. Even though Clarke kind of felt like a 7th wheel since Raven finally gave in and invited her soulmate.

Clarke was right of course, about O and Lincoln, and O didn't sleep in her bed that next week. So Clarke was surprised when she walked in the apartment on the following Friday to find Octavia rushing around her room, crying.

"What's going on O?" Clarke had never seen her move so fast.

Octavia practically latched on to her, yelling "He woke up this morning Clarke!" The tears started coming even harder. "He woke up. He really did Clarke!"

As soon as Clarke was able to comprehend the fact that Bellamy, the person who had been in a coma for almost 2 years had woken up, Clarke rushed to throw on some sweatpants and a hoodie and follow Octavia out the door.

 _I can't believe this_ , Clarke thought, barely able to conceal her smile. She was so happy for Octavia. They were currently on their way to the hospital in Lincoln's car so Clarke used the time to study Octavia. Octavia was beside herself with happiness, but Clarke also saw the worry behind her eyes as she kept glancing at Lincoln.

 _She must be thinking about Bellamy meeting Lincoln,_ Clarke chewed her lip thoughtfully thinking about all the things O had told her about him, and if she was going to guess, her brother was definitely going to be upset about him. _He_ _ **was**_ _3 years older than her_.

They pulled up to the hospital, Octavia's squeal of excitement shaking her out of her thoughts.

She and Lincoln had to practically hold Octavia down so she wouldn't run through the hospital. But, when the nurse finally let Octavia up to see him, there was no containing the girl. Clarke just hoped she wouldn't hurt him in her haste. Clarke and Lincoln decided to stand outside the door while Octavia cried and got a hug from her brother for the first time in 2 years. They were debating whether or not they should just leave O here to spend time with him when Octavia's voice drifted out to them 20 minutes later.

"I'll come back in a sec, Bell." A minute later Octavia came out to see them. She smiled at them, her eyes still glistening with tears. She hugged the pair, "I'm going to stay, okay? I'll text you guys when he's ready for visitors." They said their goodbyes and Clarke promised to call Miller and tell him the good new.

Clarke was only mildly confused when Monty answered and not Miller.

"He's in the shower Clarke, what do you want?"

"Bellamy, he woke up." The smile evident in her voice until he had the nerve to hang up on her with a gasp. She looked at the phone, shocked. She glanced at Lincoln, who was looking at her confused. She laughed then. Everything was okay.

* * *

Bellamy was getting released today. Clarke had been so busy the last two months with exams and finals that she hadn't been able to go with Octavia to see her brother in recovery. She knew the girl hadn't minded, because she'd been taking Lincoln and Miller, and even Monty with her.

Lincoln had confessed that he was terrified the day Octavia was taking him to meet her brother. The thought of anyone Lincoln's size being afraid of someone was hilarious to Clarke, but when he told her what happened when Bellamy saw him, she was underwhelmed.

"He said 'ah'. 'Ah'?" Clarke was pretty sure her jaw was on the floor at this point.

"Then he just shook my hand?" Lincoln looked just as confused as Clarke. But he was definitely not complaining. Clarke just shook her head at that and went back to attempting to throw him over her shoulder.

Since Clarke felt terrible for not being there for O while he was in physical therapy, when Octavia had an exam the day he was being released, Clarke had been the first to volunteer to go pick him up for her. Clarke had finished with her exams a week ago so she had plenty of time while Octavia had none.

"He's looking forward to meeting you Clarke," Octavia had said to her the morning she was to go pick him up, "He wants to meet my best friend." Octavia smiled at Clarke.

She knew Octavia was trying to ease her nerves, but Clarke was worried about not making a good impression. Bellamy was known to be an asshole, so even though he was so civil to Lincoln, she was expecting him not to like her. _It's better that way_ , she thought, _no disappointments._ She frowned at Octavia before glancing at the clock.

"Octavia, you're going to be late!"

After practically shoving the girl out of their apartment, Clarke sighed and headed out.

Clarke fidgeted in her seat. She was minutes away from meeting Bellamy for the first time. She glanced at the clock, _okay Griffin, you can do this. It's no big deal, it's just her brother. It's not going to take O away from you if he doesn't like you_.

Clarke was lost in her self-pep talk as the doors opened, a nurse wheeling Bellamy out. She glanced up as they were searching for her car. _Why the fuck is he so much hotter in person_ , was Clarke's first thought. Clarke shook her head before taking a deep breath and opening her door.

Clarke's knuckles were white as she gripped the door. She made eye contact with the nurse first. The nurse gave her a small smile, leaning to say something to Bellamy. As the nurse started wheeling Bellamy forward, her breath caught as he met her eyes for the first time.

A fuzzy feeling began to take over her, starting in her stomach and slowly spreading. Bellamy's gaze never left hers, but as he attempted to stand, Bellamy's foot caught on the ground, twisting his ankle as the nurse hadn't quite stopped pushing him.

Clarke was shocked when she yelped at the dull, fading pain in her own ankle. Their widened eyes met as the realization set in and the fuzzy feeling from before grew even more intense as he stood up, hesitant to reach out to her. The feeling grew until it finally released her, the moment he touched her. A lazy grin took over his face and he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, his hand resting a little longer than necessary.

"Hey soulmate," he said breathless. She smiled then, a grin breaking out on her face. A light cough broke the moment and they turned to look at the nurse.

"Have a good day, Mr. Blake."

Bellamy turned back to Clarke and smiled. _It will definitely be a good day_ , Clarke smiled up at him. She motioned to her car before hoping in the drivers seat.

They were both silent on the way to his apartment, smiling to themselves and sneaking glances at one another. Clarke was suddenly grateful that she had had the time to visit his apartment before today so that she could just stare at him instead of focusing on where she was going.

When they finally closed the apartment door behind them, Clarke finally let it all out. She turned to him and tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I thought you were dead. For almost two years I thought you were dead." He reached out to hold her, a sad look on his face, she let him tuck her into his chest.

"But Clarke," she interrupted him before he could finish.

"I was so angry at you for my whole life. You spent my childhood getting us, not you, US beaten up. You spent my teenage years beating others up, and don't think that I didn't know the difference. I went through a whole range of emotions for you. Sad that you were doing what you were doing, angry that the universe set me up with someone who spent most of my life so far getting hurt, scared that you actually died that night."

Clarke paused, the tears finally escaping, falling freely. He only pulled her into him more, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Bellamy could sense that Clarke wasn't finished with him yet, so he didn't say anything.

"I was 17, Bellamy. 17. And I thought you died. I was devastated. 17 and I never got to meet my soulmate. I passed out from the pain," she looked up at him, her entire body was shaking and Bellamy couldn't take it anymore.

The kiss was more than perfect. It started slow and tender, as if he was testing the waters before diving in. _As if I would deny him_ , Clarke smirked into the kiss. At that, he deepened the kiss, increasing the intensity.

It was everything she thought kissing your soulmate would be like. It held a promise. A promise that she was his and he was hers. A promise of years to come, getting to know each other. She pulled away from him slightly, gasping for breath. She hooked her arms around her neck and kissed him again, swiftly. He smiled and nuzzled into her neck.

"Well I'm not hitting anyone anymore, and I'm not getting hit anymore. I'm here, and I'm yours."

Needless to say, all of their friends were ecstatic. Octavia would always claim that he knew they would be perfect for each other ever since she first met Clarke. At the wedding, she even included it in her speech. Clarke just rolled her eyes as she rested a hand on her stomach in anticipation of her little announcement she had planned.


End file.
